Category Archives: Insight

Decision Time!

Decision Time!

I have been thinking long and hard lately about several things and here is what I have decided.

I am no longer a Beachbody Coach. I cancelled my membership today. This is huge because I had a lot of hope for this. But I just don’t feel like it’s right for me right now. I am currently feeling quite bittersweet about this decision, but the “bad” outweigh the “good” for me at this point. Will I consider doing it again in the future, when I feel more ready? Possibly. Right now, I have other things that I need to focus on though. I will say, however, that I am more than willing to continue helping anyone who asks me for help with their fitness journeys. I was serious when I said that I felt passionate about that type of thing. I really think God did place this in my life.

I am also closing down my “YourJourney” page. It is just too much to try to keep up with this blog, the Facebook page for this blog, AND the “YourJourney” page. So I will be posting more about my journey on the “Jessii’s Hodgepodge” page on Facebook from now on.

I am also going to be doing a new weekly thing. Like I said recently, I am currently re-reading the book “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst. Is it, she poses some awesome questions to ask yourself weekly, instead of just relying on the scale. I am really currently trying to not weight myself at all (which I may or may not continue to do), but either way, I thought that these questions were really a great way to focus on how I am truly doing. It’s technically only been five days since I started back on the right track, but my normal weigh-in day is Monday, so I am just going to stick with that.

1. Did I overeat this week on any day? Nope! I even survived the weekend!
2. Did I move more and exercise regularly? Not really. But I am working on it. I did get a couple of workouts in.
3. Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration? Nope!
4. Did I feel, at any time, that I ran to food instead of God? No. This is something that I am truly striving to do.
5. Before I hopped on the scale, did I feel that I had a successful, God-pleasing week? I think God is happy with the progress that I have made this week!

So yeah, I am happy with how the past 5.5 days have gone. :o) I have no clue what I weigh, but I am learning to listen to my body more, and to obey what God is telling me. Those are definite wins in my book!

Back to Basics!

Back to Basics!

This post is way overdue but I have been feeling super overwhelmed lately, so I just kept putting it off. I have really been struggling lately. There are a lot of factors involved in this, but I just really have not been doing good for months now. So things are changing. I am going back to basics!

I am not weighing myself for now… And I possibly will not step on the scale until the new year.

I will drink at least 96 ounces of water a day.

I will exercise. My plan is to lift weights three times a week, plus do a walk (and/or run) at least every other day. If I can do a walk every day, even better.

I will eat around 2100 calories. Yep, you read that right. It may seem insanely high to some of you, but it is a decision that is definitely supported by recent research and evidence that I have seen from other people. Let me know if you would like more info. :o)

I will read a daily devotional. I am currently re-reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It is a book that I read nearly two years ago, at the very beginning of my weight-loss journey. When reading it a few days ago, I realized that I have never fully given my journey over to God. Honestly, I do not think that I ever really thought He would care enough about it to want to be in charge. But I feel differently now. My journey is now about so much more than just losing weight and getting toned. It is about being faithful to God and taking care of the body that He gave me and allowing Him to use my journey to bring Him glory. I do not currently spend nearly enough time with Him, so I decided that a devotional was a great place to start. It is a 60-day one that actually goes along with the book… And it comes in the mail TODAY, so I am excited to get started!

Sweets… I have gone back and forth on this one a bit. Right now, my plan is to not eat any sweets for at least a month, and possibly until October. But I may change that based on how I feel and what I think God’s telling me. We shall see. Right now, I actually think I may be feeling like changing it because my body is trying to toss some cravings my way. So I need to stay strong!

I am now on day three of all of these changes and everything is going great… I am excited to see the changes my new plan brings about, both outside and inside!

Wrapping It Up…

Wrapping It Up…

Wow, I feel like it’s been forever since I posted on here… July 8th was a long time ago! I am so sorry for that!

First, let me just say that my 5k on July 20th went fantastic! I was able to run the ENTIRE thing, which was amazing, especially considering that my training runs were horrible the whole week prior to the race. Me + hot, humid weather + running just do not mix well. Lol. Thankfully, it was a nice, cool morning the day of the race! Not only did I manage to run the whole thing (which was almost a whole MILE longer than I had previously run), I also managed to do it in under 45 minutes, which was a mini goal of mine! My official time was 44:12! Woohoo! On top of the race, my vacation was wonderful, in general. Our first vacation in six years… It better be good! Lol. We squeezed in as much activity and memory-making as possible! I will hopefully get around to posting about that soon, with lots of pictures!

Now it is confession time… I have not worked out since my vacation. Boooooooooo! I have also been eating horribly! Double booooooooooo! Why? No clue. But today is my Snap Out Of It! day! I even forced myself to weigh in and do my measurements. Honestly, my weight makes me want to be sick… 170.4. I haven’t seen that number in well over a year. Yep, it genuinely sucks. But I have an amazing month planned for myself and I know that I will SOON be back to where I was and doing even better!

I will do a post tomorrow all about how AWESOME August is going to be!!

Ps… If you are interested in joining my FREE August Challenge Group, there is still time! Shoot me a message and I will get you hooked into the group. It is an awesome group of ladies and we are ALL going to rock out this coming month!

Take Pictures!

Take Pictures!

I did something spontaneous last night. I decided to compare my latest round of progress pictures with my ones that I took at the beginning of the year. I currently weigh two pounds more than I did at the beginning of the year, and SIX pounds more than I did in March. But here is the crazy thing. I weigh more… but my body looks the exact same. Seriously. Am I a bit bummed that I have not had much progress this year? Sure. But I am also excited that I have actually been able to maintain. That has always been an issue for me.

And, on top of that, I am excited to say that there is at least one part of my body that has made some progress. My arms have gotten incredibly toned! Front and back! I can even feel and somewhat see my muscle when I am not flexing! And, the crazy thing is that I have not picked up a weight since March! I have been making progress just by using resistance bands, which I was a bit reluctant to try. But I am now hooked! :o)

The top images are from January, the bottom ones are from July. Yep, I’m happy. :o)

And this folks is why I HIGHLY recommend taking pictures, even if you want to CRINGE at the beginning! Measurements are great, but they do not always show your progress. And do not even get me started on relying solely on the scale… you will only get heartache from that one!

Ready To Rock July!

Ready To Rock July!

Today is the first day of July, which means that it is time to think about what my various goals are for this month. I am not going to lie, I have not done too great on meeting my goals the past few months. Which is why I am completely rethinking EVERYTHING this month.

For workouts, I am keeping it pretty simple. I am alternating daily between training for my very first 5k (July 20th is going to get here fast!) and strength training in the form of TurboFire Tone and Sculpt workouts. I also have some yoga sprinkled in at various days throughout the month. And I am doing a small challenge for the month with my group of lovey ladies on Facebook. (If you are interested in joining the group and gaining more accountability, let me know!) I actually did not even schedule anything (other than the challenge workouts) past my 5k date because that is really my main focus this month. And my training is going GREAT, by the way!

For food, I am going to continue to drink at least 96 ounces of water a day, and am trying to get in more than that on 5k training days. I seem to need more when I run. Which makes sense. I am also trying to have more “real” meals, foods that I actually cook from scratch. One big difference that is happening this month, though, is my mindset when it comes to food. I have decided that nothing is “not allowed”… I have no restrictions. But I am going to be eating in moderation. For instance, I went to get frozen yogurt with my daughter yesterday and we actually shared a cup instead of each of us having our own. It will still very satisfying, and I felt better knowing that I did not eat the whole thing myself. And she LOVED sharing it with me. She was actually super excited about it. :o) I have also decided that, for now at least, if I am starving at the end of the day but do not have any calories left, I am not going to beat myself up over eating some fruit. I am not really sure how my body is going to react to really training for this 5k, since my runs are getting longer now, but it seems to need more fuel because I have been pretty ravenous the past few days.

I have also decided that I am not weighing myself until before my 5k. I need a scale break. I took my measurements, including weight, in the middle of last week, and I also have pictures. So I will redo those things on July 17th.

That is pretty much it, in a nutshell. I am excited to see how this month goes! I am ready to ROCK July!



(This post was written on 6/26, but not posted until 6/27)

Here’s the thing… I am doing horribly right now. I will be completely honest here and say that I am disgusted with myself. I have been bad the past few days, but tonight was the worst I have been in a LONG time. I cannot even begin to guess how many calories I ate, including some that I even scarfed down in secret. Yep. I did that. I am admitting it here and now. It makes me want to cry, just thinking about it. Not to mention how terrible my body feels right now.

And the crazy thing? The whole time, I had this voice in my head screaming at me… “Don’t do this, you’re worth more than this, you are already full, you don’t even want that food!”. Did I listen? Nope. Did I feel guilty the entire time? Yep. But tonight I reached the bottom of the pit that I have been climbing into for a few months now. I have officially reached the point in my food addiction that I have turned so far from where I once was, that I have two choices. I can give in and go back to the person that I once was, go back to all those bad habits, and allow myself to gain back the sixty pounds that I have lost. Or I can stop sabotaging myself, get myself back in gear, and refocus. It is definitely time to refocus!

Tonight, after I finished stuffing my face full of food, I did something I have never done. I redid my monthly workout board, in the middle of the month. Even on bad months, I have never erased it until it was time to set up the next month’s schedule. But I NEEDED to have a new schedule, tonight. So I redid the schedule for the last four days of the month, plus most of July. My focus at this point is the next few weeks, which is how long I have to train for my first ever 5k run. In fact, I did not fill out a single day after the 5k… I need something solid to focus on right now. I thought long and hard tonight and realized that I may have a reason I have been having such a hard time lately. When I first started out on my weight-loss journey, I set so many little goals along the way, plus I had my ultimate “end” goal. I have now lost right around 60 pounds, which is fantastic. But I have been in this stasis area for along a year now, where I still have changes I want made, and I am not happy with where my body is at, but I am not seeing many changes happen. I am also at a point where I need to readdress what I want my “end” goal to be… And I do not think that it can be a number. Would I love to see the 120′s for the first time since I was probably in middle school? Absolutely! But I honestly do not think it is possible for my body, unless I want to lose all the muscle and toning I have worked so hard to achieve. I think the self-sabotage comes into play at this point… I have worked so very hard and am now having to change my original goals, that my insides are trying to fight it. My mind is a messed up place apparently! Lol. I do not even know if this makes any sense at all to anyone but me.

I feel so strongly about this that I actually erased a quote that I have had on my fridge for probably a year now.

“Imagine that day, where you can finally say, “I did it!” When you can say,“I never gave up, I never quit!” Imagine that day when you win that gold medal, or reach your goal weight. Where these moments of pain turn into memories for that goal you wanted to obtain. It might take long to reach that moment, but as soon as you get there you’ll thank your self for the rest of your life.”

The first time I ever read this quote, I got tears in my eyes and that tight feeling in my throat, just thinking about feeling this. I still LOVE this quote. And I still absolutely want to feel this. But it cannot be my focus. My focus needs to be in the here and now. It needs to be on EACH goal that I set for myself, not just the “end” goal. I am going to be setting some new goals this week, ones that are not only weight-related. One of them will for sure be to run my first 5k. And I know that I will feel incredibly proud when I reach that goal, whether it happens tomorrow or next month or next year.

Now that I have completely gone off on a tangent, let me direct you back to me redoing my exercise schedule! Lol. It is pretty simple. Every other day is 5k training. The in between days are toning days. And I will be doing some extra cardio on some of the toning days, plus some yoga on some days. My toning with be the TurboFire Tone and Sculpt workouts. Simple. Easy to stick with. Great results. And I will not be turning back this time.

I am still working on my food goals. I feel like I need to make some changes (other than the obvious ones) and I am still trying to figure out what that looks like. I will let you know as soon as I know! And keep an eye out for my new set of goals!!

Ps… What types of goals would you be setting for yourself if you were in my shoes?

Slow and Steady…

Slow and Steady…

Some of you may know that I have been nursing a bit of an injured foot. I actually took yesterday off completely from working out to give it extra time to recoup. But today was going to be my last chance (with good weather) to get in this month’s virtual 5k that Sara – Use It to Lose It has going on monthly. I was sick last month and unable to participate, so I was determined to do it today. Zeeva decided that she absolutely did not want to nap today (and, boy, did she let us know!), so I plopped her in her stroller and we took off down the road… We hit every road in our neighborhood at least one time. I actually thought that I was going to have to turn back fairly early on because my foot pain started intensifying and I would get some random extremely sharp pains every now and then. But the really bad ones stopped suddenly, so I kept going.

It was a slow one but I managed to get the whole 5k in! It took me seventy minutes (yep, you read that right!), but those are seventy minutes that I am proud of. I could have turned back when the pain got worse. I could have just stayed home and told myself that I needed another rest day. Instead, I moved. And, you know what? Slow and steady wins the race! ;o)

How Did I Do?

How Did I Do?

I don’t know about you but I have a really hard time letting go of my past mistakes, even though I know that it just pulls me down to hold on to them. With that being said, I am making a conscious decision to move past all my mistakes and slip ups and just focus on one day at a time.

Here are my goals for Tuesday, May 14, 2013:

- stay within my allotted calories
- drink at least 100 ounces of water
- take a long walk
- TurboFire Core workout
- TurboFire 45 workout
- TurboFire Stretch workout
- doing something FUN with my daughter that includes activity of some sort!

Yes, I have a full day planned… But I need it!

I WILL check back in and let you know how I do!


It is only 2 pm and I already have in my 20-minute Core workout and my 45-minute Fire workout! I can already feel my body thanking me for the good choices I’ve made and will continue to make today!


I soooo wish I had taken a picture of tonight’s dinner… I’m pretty proud of myself! Lol! I cooked chicken in a skillet, with bell peppers and mushrooms, seasoned with lots of yummy spices like chili powder and garlic, plus made rice and corn (which was my first time EVER making corn… I roasted it in the oven because we do not have enough stove burners and it turned out great). It probably doesn’t sound like much, but it was amazingly good… Especially after all the hard work I’ve done today! (Which I will fill you in on later)

Even after all that food, I am still soooo hungry! And it’s real hunger too, not just feeling like I “need” food.


Today was AWESOME! Here’s what I accomplished today:

- I stayed within my calories and still have 25 left for the day.
- I drank a LOT of water… I am already over the 100 ounce mark and still have a couple of hours before bed!
- I did my TurboFire Core workout (20 minutes)
- I did my TurboFire 45 minute workout
- I took a walk with my daughter and husband, and then did some yard work (moving branches), which totaled 80 minutes all together.
- For my something “fun”, I sprayed Zeeva with the hose while I was watering the flowers… She LOVED it. :o)

The only thing I have not done yet on my list is to get in a long stretching session, but I may still do that before bed. I am so exhausted right now that I do not want to move! Lol!

I am very happy with how today went! I set my goals and I achieved them. I feel so much more confident about myself right now. And tomorrow will be a great day too!

Ps… Yes, my body is now ACHING! Lol… It’s a good ache though!

My Mother’s Day…

My Mother’s Day…

I am not going to sugar-coat this… I did not have a great Mother’s Day this year. So, I am counting today as my Mother’s Day redo. :o) It was MUCH better than yesterday. Everyone was in a better mood. Zeeva let me sleep in! I got to take a long walk around the neighborhood with Zeeva and she only fussed when her stuffed animal fell out of the stroller. :o) Then, Zeeva decided that she had to “pee” (which usually means she just wants to sit on the potty)… And she actually peed! In her potty AND the toilet!

And tonight, after Zeeva’s bath, she wanted to cuddle with me and Thomas for a LONG time… We got some adorable pictures of her with her arms wrapped around my neck. So very cute!

So yeah… Today is a much better Mother’s Day! I will take it!

Today is THE Day!

Today is THE Day!

I admit it… I have been “off” for a few months now. It seems like I am either eating great or exercising great, but rarely both. That changes TODAY.

I did such a great job eating today that I still have more than 400 calories left… And we had Mexican for dinner! (I know, some of you will think that I am crazy for thinking that any day that involves eating Mexican food could be considered a great day, eating-wise. But today was a high calorie-burn day for me and when I calculated my calories for the day with my intended dinner, I was going to have almost 800 left over. Not so great. So, the Mexican food was actually an educated decision.) And I am doing fantastically with my water intake too.

Speaking of that high calorie-burn day, here is a rundown on what I did today:

      30 minute walk (my FitBit is currently dead, so I do not know the distance.)
      75 minutes of yardwork, which included nearly an hour of trimming branches.
      13 minutes of TurboFire Stretch
      19 minutes of TurboFire HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training)

The only thing that I had scheduled that I did not get to was a short weight workout… And I am willing to count that hour of tree trimming as sufficient for that! ;o)

My least favorite moment of the day was when I decided to quit a few minutes into the HIIT workout… I was having a hard time keeping up and doing the moves and got frustrated. That led to my favorite moment of the day, which was when I came to my senses and gave it everything I had…. I actually felt like crying at the end of it because I actually DID IT. Those workouts are extremely intense, so I was very proud of myself!

Another great moment was when I was outside trimming the tree branches… I have done a LOT of yard work in the past week or two, probably more than my whole life combined. (Sadly, I may not be exaggerating on that.) As I was trimming the branches, I realized that it was getting easier than it had been when I first started working on trees. And THEN I started reflecting on how different my life is now than it was when we first moved into our house, four years ago. That summer, and the next, I got a LOT of help with the gardening from my mom… A self-proclaimed “black thumb”, I had no idea what I was doing. And I cannot even begin to tell you how many weeds grew in our gardens that year and the next year… There were several times when we had a jungle of weeds that had to be pulled. And they were the gigantic, prickly ones too. And now, here I am, actually trimming TREES, without any fear of hurting them (or me!), spreading my own mulch, planting every single one of my own flowers… Yep, I am a changed woman. It probably does not hurt that I switched allergy medicines and am now actually able to be outdoors without sneezing up a storm! ;o) But I owe a massive amount of this change to my weight loss… I feel strong now. I feel so much more confident and sure of my abilities. Do I still have my moments of doubt and insecurities? You bet! I would hazard a guess that everyone does at some point. But, when I look back on who I used to be, and see how far I have come? Well, that gives me all the confidence I need to take on anything!