Monthly Archives: November 2013

That Reset Button…

That Reset Button…

I had a meltdown this weekend. It was one of those moments when I realized, really realized, how much weight I have gained, what I have been doing to myself, how much sugar I have been putting into my pre-diabetic body, how few of my clothes fit, and how horrible I truly feel about myself. So yesterday morning, I mustered up my courage and stepped on the scale and started over once again. What I saw on the scale truly terrified me and made me want to puke.

Is it conventional to start eating better and exercising on Thanksgiving week? Nope! But I absolutely had to do this for myself and I know that I will be successful. I had a great day with eating yesterday. And I even got in my first full workout since I injured my shoulder in early September! I started HipHopAbs and had to modify a few of the arm moves to compensate for my shoulder situation, but I made it through the whole workout and felt great afterward! I have never done this program and think I will like it… Something fun. :o) And Zeeva liked it too, she kept joining me periodically. So cute!

So, I have officially hit the reset button, once again. It does not matter how many times you have to hit that button… It matters that you get back up more times that you fall.

Thump, Thump, Thump…

Thump, Thump, Thump…

**thump, thump, thump, thump***

Most of us know that noise well…

**Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump***

For me, the noise causes my pulse to race, and I dash through the house as the noise quickly grows louder…


Yep… It is that stupid washing machine again!

I had a stretch today where I was feeling a bit better so I decided to take advantage of it and make a bit of a dent in the housework that never seems to be caught up with these days. Zeeva insisting on rolling around on my germ-infested pillows and blankets may have had something to do with this. ;o) So I ran some couch pillows and my pillow case and blankets through the washing machine while I tackled the mountain of dishes that had somehow piled up, even though we have eaten out for pretty much every other meal for two weeks now. Yeah… How is that possible?? Anyway, at one point, the washing machine started getting off-kilter and making its lovely banging noise, which freaked Zeeva out a bit. I rearranged the very wet items and restarted the washing machine, only to have it get out of whack again. This actually happened several times in a row, which cause me to get very irritated. I started wondering if I was going to have to take some things out of the load, which made me wonder where in the world I was going to store the dripping items while waiting for the washer to be free again. So I tried one last time, this time completely taking everything out and then carefully relayering back into the machine, in the hope that it would be balanced this time. It was! Awesomeness! Zeeva even clapped for me when I closed the doors to the laundry area. :o) It does not take much to impress that girl.

So, back to the dishes I went. But I kept listening carefully to the washing machine and thinking about what a pain it had been. And then I realized something rather profound. Today, the washing machine has been a lot like my fitness journey. I made it through the “wash” cycle perfectly fine… I lost 60+ pounds with no major setbacks in the first year and a half. I know, some people have lost that in a matter of months. But I think my way was better, it was a steady rate, and I did not have to do anything insane to lose it. But then I started getting a bit off-kilter with everything. And I started gaining a bit of weight back. Which threw me more off-kilter. I have tried several times now to “reset” myself, to mix things up and get back on balance. And, for the past two months, I have been dealing with an injury, family illness, a hubby with some intense work hours, raising a three-year-old, life craziness, my own illness, and now may be facing needing physical therapy for my shoulder. (Please, Lord, let that not be the case! Please!)

I am ready to be balanced again. I am ready to take everything out of my washing machine, rearrange it to make sure it fits and is going to last the long-haul, and restart. As soon as I am done being sick, I am going to figure out what that is going to look like. I am currently working with a great friend and awesome wellness coach, and I have a feeling that her coaching is really going to help me out with this. She keeps reminding me that I am not currently in the same place that I was at a year ago… I cannot set the same goals for myself and expect them to work. I need to realign my thinking and my goals to where I am now. Even if I used to be able to easily do something, that may not be the case. Will I get back to where I was? Absolutely. And I have full confidence that I will get to my final goal. But if I do not slow down and take the time to make sure I am doing it the balanced way, then I am just setting myself up to get off-kilter again.

Strep Throat Lessons…

Strep Throat Lessons…

Well, I currently have strep throat for the first time in years. I used to get it all the time when I was little and apparently my body decided that it misses that. Boooooo! This is definitely the worst that I have felt in years. But I have learned a few things today.

1. Zeeva can down an ENTIRE bag of M&Ms in one doctor’s visit. Thankfully, she was so tired from not taking a nap yesterday that she still ended up napping for nearly three hours.

2. I really can sleep in nearly any position while sick.

3. The best meal ever for strep throat is from Taco Bell: soft tacos with lots of hot sauce followed by an awesome slushy. Talk about soothing to a sore throat! When I was younger, the guy in the office next to my dad was from India. I remember having to go to work with my dad a few times when I was sick and I have clear memories of Raj always trying to get me to eat spicy peppers when I was there. He said they would help. I never believed him until many years later. I so wish I had been willing to try it back then… Spicy food really does help when your throat is on fire!

4. Another awesome form of “medicine” when sick is curling up on the couch next to my daughter, and relaxing while watching an old favorite movie. This is great any day but especially peaceful when feeling so horrible.

I also have to share my favorite moment of the day… At the doctor’s office, any time the nurse or doctor was examining me, Zeeva would come over and hold my hand. Talk about heart melting! She is definitely a keeper! You will also be happy to hear that she gave Tinker Bell a full checkup while we were waiting for my strep results and she now has a clean bill of health. ;o)

Follow-Up Time!

Follow-Up Time!

I promised that I would check back in and let you know how my day went so here goes!

Afternoon update…

Ugh! Feeling frustrated! I fully intended on (and WANTED to) work out today. But I appear to now be getting sick (my hubby is on day FIVE of this nasty cold/cough/flu thing) and have been feeling achy, dizzy and sore throaty all day. I’m really hoping for a nice long nap and that I feel much better afterward, so I can try working out then. (My shoulder is also aching again today, probably because of my overall achiness, so if I work out it will definitely be a gentle one.)

But my food has been pretty good thus far today! No candy corn in sight! :o) So there is still hope for me yet.

End of the day update…

Zeeva decided to randomly be anti-nap today, plus my mind just would not shut down, so no nap for me. But we all did get out of the house tonight, despite being under the weather, and went to Lowe’s to look at paint colors for our bedroom makeover. (Have I mentioned that on here? We are doing a fabulous bedroom makeover for our Christmas present!) We also looked at the “holiday stuff”, as Zeeva puts it, which turned out to be the absolute best part of the day… Zeeva was in AWE. She absolutely loves all of it! So cute and precious to see! I am actually excited to decorate! But will be waiting until after Thanksgiving!

With both adults under the weather, we decided that it was okay to go the easy way tonight and just grabbed Subway for dinner. Totally worth it. Unfortunately, my throat has gotten worse as the day has gone on, especially tonight. I cannot even drink water or tea without grimacing. So I drank a soda tonight, which was the only thing that felt semi-good on my throat. And I will be having ice cream. But I am in control. It is not a binge, like with the candy corn! ;o)

Annnnnnnnnnd, I was feeling energetic enough after dinner that I actually worked out tonight!! I did my first workout in probably two months (stupid shoulder!) and tried out HipHopAbs! I like it! I was only able to do about half of the workout because all the breathing through my mouth made my throat feel like it was on FIRE but I am proud of myself! I would say that today was a fairly successful day, especially with being sick! I could have easily just written the whole day off, but I did not.

I am even having my hubby pick up some carbonated water so I can drink that with orange juice tomorrow if my throat is still sore, instead of having to drink more soda. I am a work in progress but I am definitely making forward steps!

Middle-of-the-Night Post! :o)

Middle-of-the-Night Post! :o)

There is nothing like being wide awake in the middle of the night for several days in a row because your mind keeps going in circles. So I have decided to be proactive and write a blog post to get he main topic off my mind.

I have not been doing good with my eating. Or my exercising. So I am posting now more to keep myself accountable than anything else. I realized that I have not been posting on here as often the past few months and there might be a correlation between that and how I am doing on my fitness journey. Posting on here has been a way of keeping myself accountable… Right now, I am not being kept in check at all. I have even stopped using LoseIt. So I will be posting more from now on. In fact, this post is going to be a two-parter… Following this portion will be a follow-up on how my day went, good or bad. So here are my goals for today…

Drink water! Three bottles. I have been severely lacking in this area and I think it may be part of why I have been feeling so insanely tired lately.

Exercise! I have not tried a workout video in weeks, mostly because of my shoulder injury but partially from fear. I am not pretty attuned to my shoulder and can generally tell right away when it is going to start hurting. So I am going to plop in a DVD (I think HipHopAbs) and give it a whirl tomorrow. If I need to stop after a while or adjust the moves, then so be it. I just need to do something!

No buying sweets! I have been HORRIBLE about this. I do not want to cut them out altogether because I tried that twice this summer and it majorly backfired each time. But I need to get a handle on it or I am going to really hurt myself. And I am not just talking about gaining weight.

That is it. Those are my goals. I think they are pretty simple ones too, so I am looking forward to checking back in with you tonight and letting you know how the day went.

And now, hopefully, I can get a good night’s sleep, knowing that I have finally done something to help me stay accountable.