Well, most of you probably know that I have not been feeling too great the past three days. I only ate saltines for the past two days and was honestly starting to feel incredibly weak today… I really thought that it was at least partially from not having had any food. So I decided to try eating something tonight. And yes, I will admit that I did not go for healthy, I went for what sounded good… Breadsticks and ice cream. Lol… No worries, this is not a slipup, this was a “I need to eat whatever sounds good to me, in an attempt to get some food into my body”. Not the best food, by any means, but I am to going to beat myself up over it and it is not going to become a pattern. Just wanted to have full disclosure here. So far, I have not had an adverse reaction to my first food in two days… I am hoping this continues to be true!
Today was a learning day for me… Some of it was new and some was just brought to my attention once again.
So there you have it! Nothing too incredibly interesting but just a bunch of random things that I learned today… Just a bit of insight into my life! ;o)
I honestly did not know what to expect with the scale this week. I stayed the exact same last week, despite the really hard workouts that I put myself through. I worked out six of the past seven days, so I was really hoping for a big number. Unfortunately, I did not get that big number. But the week was not a complete loss… I did lose 1.1 pounds. Which is really a good number. I am trying to just be happy with it, instead of thinking that I could have done better. I just think that, since I did not lose any last week, I was expecting to make up for it this week. And who knows… Maybe it will eventually catch up with me next week or the week after that. For now, will just have to be happy with the 1.1 pounds that I lost this week… And with my new muscles! ;o)
Ok people, I have something very exciting to share with you all. After months of trying, I can finally say that it is official… I have a muscle! Lol… I bet you thought I was going to say that I was pregnant, didn’t you?? ;o) Sorry, just had to do it!
But seriously, I am very excited. I have an actual visible muscle in my bicep! Actually, I have one on each arm. ;o) And I do not even have to flex to see it! I know it probably is not very exciting for everyone else, but it is very exciting to me. It is a visible sign to me that really shows all my hard work! Yea!
Ok, so that is all… This definitely made my day!
Ok folks, here it is… My progress picture! I have now lost 31 pounds. I promised someone that I would share my progress picture once I reached 30 pounds, whether I felt like it or not. So here it is!
It is up on a Facebook blog too, if anyone is interested… You can find it here. I am honestly still having a hard time seeing the changes. There are many days when I feel much thinner and more fit. But then I look in the mirror and still see that same girl that I was before I started this weight-loss journey. I really think that self-image is one of the hardest things to adjust to when you lose a lot of weight. It is hard to get over the image that you were used to seeing for so long staring back at you in the mirror.
It is something I am working on. And there are some changes that I do see. I am just impatient for the image that I see in the mirror and the image that I see in my mind to match up with each other. I know it will happen, I just hope it is sooner rather than later!
I had a thought tonight about why I may have stayed the same weight this week. At the beginning of January, I decreased my dosage of Metformin by half. My doctor warned me to keep a close eye on my weight and if I started gaining for no apparent reason, then I need to increase my dose again because it means that my body needs the extra medicine. It occurred to me as I took my medicine at dinner that this could be a starting indicator that I might need to increase my medicine again. So I will definitely be keeping a close eye on this!
I am bummed. After all my hard work this past week, I have absolutely nothing to show. My weight stayed the exact same. I know that it will probably even out eventually, but it really sucks to not see any results when I’m working so hard. Yep, definitely bummed.
I am definitely feeling strong tonight! I did a KILLER workout today, my hardest one that I have probably ever done in my whole life! I thought about stopping a few times but I had already committed myself to it. It took every ounce of energy that’s had but I made it through, STRONG. Here is what I did…
- 35 minutes of arm and shoulder toning exercises using five pound weights. I did three levels of Denise Austin’s DVD, Get Fit Fast. Each level gets more and more intense. And the third level includes some “real” pushups, which I actually did! I have never really even tried “real” pushups… I always assumed that they were beyond my grasp, so I just settled for the modified version. But they were on the video and I wanted to give it my all, so I tried them… And succeeded!
- 21 minutes of abdominal exercises. Once again, I used Denise Austin’s DVD, Get Fit Fast… This is really my go-to video so far for all of my toning exercises. I love it because each area has three levels, so you can pick and choose what you did. Today I did two levels of the ab workouts, which I have never even done before! I tried to do a tiny bit of the second level a couple of days ago and did not have the strength to get through. Today, I made it all the way through and hardly had to do any modifications!
- 49 minutes of walking… This was Leslie Sansone’s three mile Walk at Home workout. By the time I was pretty beat from my other exercises. I was tempted to stop after one mile, but continued. I was REALLY tempted to stop after two miles, but wanted to follow through with my commitment. And I DID IT!!
I am so excited about today. My weigh-in went fantastic and my workout absolutely rocked! One and a half hours of really pushing myself beyond my limits…. It felt great! It still feels great! And I have to give kudos to Zeeva… She was really great while I was exercising. She played most of the time, and climbed all over me during my ab workout. She only got upset and wanted to be held at the very end of my walk. Luckily, Thomas was able to come in and calm her down so I could finish what I started. And it felt GREAT to finish what I started!
In my last post, I talked about how I have been feeling discouraged lately. Well, a funny thing happened to me shortly after writing that entry. I definitely did not feel like exercising… In fact, it was just about the last thing I wanted to do. But I forced myself to do it anyway, to push through a pretty strenuous workout. It was full of arm toning exercises, cardio, and even had a full ab workout. I was definitely beat at the end. A great thing happened during that workout though… I found myself again. I felt energized and proud of my hard work and STRONG again. It felt awesome! I think just getting how I was feeling out into the open and then pushing myself past my gloom to work out was really releasing for me. I feel much more at peace now and that makes me very happy. Thank You Lord for releasing me from those feelings!
With that being said, I was still a bit nervous about stepping on the scale this morning. I know I killed my workouts this past week, but I have honestly been retaining water like crazy for the past week. I do not know if it is because I have been really pushing my muscles so my body is holding onto the water to help repair them, or if it is just some completely random reason. I know I do not like it, whatever the reason… My fingers feel like sausages! So, because of this, I did not know what to expect from the scale this morning, but I was definitely praying for a big number.
It turns out that I had no reason to be nervous… I lost 3.7 pounds this week!! YEA!!! That is the best week I have ever had! It also means that I lost more than 3/4 of a BMI point… In one week! AND I have extra exciting news because I can now say that I have FINALLY met my thirty pound weight-loss goal! That is sooooo exciting! I have now lost 31 pounds and am more than 1/3 of the way to my final goal. YIPPEE!
Anticipation can be a wonderfully lovely thing… The anticipation of the first kiss you will share with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. The anticipation of a much-deserved vacation. The anticipations that builds and builds as you get closer and closer to your wedding day. The anticipation that you feel while waiting to meet your baby for the first time. Heck, even the anticipation of something simple, like an upcoming date night, is a great thing to feel. These are all the great aspects of anticipation.
There is also a bad side to anticipation… And, unfortunately, that is this side I am feeling right now. I usually look forward to Wednesdays. I am generally excited to see how I have done with my weight from week to week. This week is different. I am dreading it. I honestly do not know what my problem is. The past five days have completely dragged by… I feel like three weeks should have passed by now instead of less than one week. I wish three weeks had passed by now because I will hopefully be way past this funk I am feeling by then!
I am dreading weighing myself this week. I have exercised every day of 2012, so you would think that I would be feeling strong and in control. I have lost more than 27 pounds, so you would think I would look in the mirror and see a thinner me. And I was in that place. I had started to feel strong. And I had started to notice all the changes that had occurred on the inside and outside of my body. But something has happened since the turn of the new year… I do not feel and see those things right now. I want to… I look in the mirror, searching for the changes that I used to see. And the person I see staring back at me still weighs thirty pounds more than I do right now. I feel bloated and weak and discouraged. And I hate this feeling with a passion! So, I am really dreading Wednesday… I keep thinking that I will have gained weight, instead of lost it. And I really need the self-confidence boost of a big loss!
Time to go do my daily workout… I am hoping it will help kick this gloomy feeling out of me!